I believe everyone's point of view matters; seeking to understand each other, whether we see eye to eye, is pivotal in creating partnership (romantically or platonically, personally or professionally). I asked folks to share their point of view on dating. Today you hear from a single, male who is established, available and dating. I asked him a few questions..... here is what he had to say:
1) What works for you?
-To me, there isn't (and never will
be) anything sexier than a woman who demonstrates that she's a good nurturer.
I'm a real A type personality and the feminine strength of a good woman
is nothing that will ever be anything less than sexy. I LOVE women who expect to be treated well.
Let me be a man, and I'll treat you like a woman. Don't expect
to pay for dinner, enjoy the doors held open, and appreciate the fact that I
think my job is to take care of you... unless you let me treat you like a
woman, I'll never feel like a good man.
2) What doesn't work for you?
-There is a line between feminine
strength, and acting like a dude. If I wanted to date a man I would.
I like women, so act like one! Don't feel like it's awkward if I
pay for a meal or do something spontaneous and nice. I don't expect you
to sleep with me just because I paid for a meal, it's just how it makes me
think I'm taking care of you. If you're with me, don't worry about
anything. When you do, it's unattractive.
3) What can a woman do on a first
date to set a man up for success (planning, etc)?
-Look your best. Don't over do
it, but put your best foot forward. We want to be proud of the woman we
are with, so do your best to present yourself on a first date like you
are the arm candy (although you're obviously more than that). We want our
friends to tell us that our girl is hot, when we are on a first date, it's one
of the first thing a guy thinks about. AND don't over analyze everything!
Just enjoy the experience and let yourself be you. That's what we want to
see.
4) What has helped you in your
journey to get clear on what you're looking for in a relationship?
-About a thousand dates that ended in
a disaster! Mostly my fault... :)
-I dated one girl once who was just
in a different place in her life, but nobody has ever let me treat them as well
as she did. Her letting me be a gentleman was such a gift; it gave me a
lot of clarity on the kind of woman I want. She and I are still great
friends.
5) What have been 3 of your top 10
dates?
-Honestly, I'm real easy. 1) Coffee
and a conversation is probably my favorite. I enjoy conversation and
listening to people, learning about their stories, and finding out what
drives them. Learning about a woman's PASSION in life is what moves me.
With that said, I have had a few coffee conversations I really enjoyed.
2) Walking around Santa Monica with a girl I used to date was awesome,
just people watching and what not. 3) A nice dinner with unique food
where we both experience something new.
6) Suggestions/Pointers/Tips for the
Fellas on dating
-Guys have swag; Men have class. Be a man and take
care of your woman. Respect isn't optional, honor who she is (even if
it's not going to go anywhere).
As always, I love to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Much love & aloha
hp
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