Cross-Culture and "Inter-racial" Dating

Cross-Culture and "Inter-racial" Dating......appear to be similar, if not the same, yet globally, I am not sure.  When I hear Cross-Culture Dating....I think of my cousin CP (American) and his lovely wife MP (Dutch). He moved abroad for business, they met, fell in-love and voila #CrossCulture dating, that obviously led to marriage.  The Dutch way of life may bear a few similarities, however, the culture is different from that of American culture (yes, we have a culture.).  Culture shock to my cousin who was accustomed to celebrating Thanksgiving, with all the cooking revelry we experience here (for the most part) here in the States.  Yet, that "holiday" or "tradition" is irrelevant to the Dutch historically.  Only when my cousin offers to share his culture with his expanded family does it hold any meaning.  And so it is with Cross-Culture dating.  It happens in the US all the time.  Our customs, traditions, celebrations, meanings may differ, yet when we meet someone who captures our hearts, the differences become less visible (as obstacles), and more beautiful as the unique qualities about the person we are into.  I mention "Inter-racial" Dating merely because it is frequently used here in the U.S. and often comes with stigma....like we're are separate races, one is better than the other, crossing that line is suspect, etc.  As it were, I fall into the category of a "white girl".  If I date a man that is a "non-white" person, then we are "inter-racial". I find the stigma to be negative, creating tension instead of curiosity.  If I were to date a man that was "Italian" or "Spanish".. it would be Cross-Cultural Dating. I don't think anyone would EVER say that's "Inter-racial" Dating, although if race has something to do with national origin or ethnicity (<----that word = questionable)... than, it could be.  No one in my family descends from either country.  I was born and raised in America, this is true, yet my ancestry is so much more than that.  So is yours, whether you know it or not.  On my mother's side of the family, we are dutch, Irish, Scottish, French, Swedish and/or Norwegian, and possibly Ute Indian.  On my father's side of the family, we are German, Scottish, English (that's what I know).  Do you know Scots are different than Brits?  Germans have a special character and charm all their own (yes, imagine beyond Nazi Germany).  Very different cultures.  Although Africa is one continent, the countries and cultures within those countries vary.  Even if a someone from South Africa dated someone from the Congo, it would remain Cross-Culture dating, not inter-racial.  Perhaps the concept and labeling of "inter-racial" is waters I need to dive deeper into.  I suppose that's a bigger topic than I wish to address in one blog posting. I prefer to expand the idea of Cross-Culture dating. Cross-Culture dating focusses on the culture, not race, which leaves so much room to explore and combine, share and appreciate. I find it inspiring, interesting, amazing, challenging and beautiful.  Acknowledging differences and then cherishing them.  Either way, either terminology, whatever the situation... I believe LOVE always wins...  We all have culture. West Coast, East Coast, beach culture, city culture, our home country and the like.  All of which matters, all of which makes up who we are, how we communicate, what we celebrate, what we shy away from... so it makes more sense to seek understanding, find similarities, and all the aspects of that person that we love and appreciate.  Whatever dating situation you find yourself in, love it; love you, love the person, love the moment.

Here is a beautiful article that speaks to what I'm talking about perfectly.....from one of the lovely Ladies at #BeyondBlackAndWhite:  Swirling Marriage - Sola Coats

As always, please share your thoughts, comments and your experiences.

much love & aloha
hp