1st Dates

I don't know about you or where you are located on the planet, but here in Los Angeles, it is HOT!! I am not a fan of triple digit weather.  I do enjoy the necessity for sundresses though. Summer equals more reasons for pedicures, pretty nail polish, sundresses, shorts and things.  Summer nights are my favorite!  Maybe because I watched the movie GREASE at such a young age.  I loved their summer romance.

I am still reading If The Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl, PhD   Chapter 23 covers 1st Dates, which I found encouraging.  I'm going to give you a few bullet points from the chapter (which I highly recommend reading anyway).  The perspective is a spiritual one, which leads the reader directly to the essence of who we are, which is where we really want to be with the one who is our beloved - being our true selves.

1. Remember 1st Dates are just a moment in time - let go of the attachment.  It can be anything, yet it will more than likely be fun when you can BE present to the moment.

2. You are simply meeting to see if there is a possible fit - no pressure... no who you are, what matters to you, pay attention to the conversation.  You are gathering data. Do any of your deal breakers come up?  Are you experiencing any red flags?  Its okay.  That's what the date is for.  You might find that you two are better suited as friends.  You might find that you need to RUN away as fast as you can.  You may find you'd like to go out again.  Its all good.

3. Always meet in a neutral place with lots of people - yes, even if you've known each other forever.  Romance can change the relationship.  Coffee shops, other public places, allows for you both to be yourselves, with less pressure to be someone you are not.  Give yourself an hour or two limit.  If you fit, it will naturally lead to more time.  No hurry.

4. Show who you really are - if you are naturally outrageous and funny, be that way.  If you are naturally quiet and cautious, be that way.  Be yourself - "being yourself is an act of faith and self-love". Great unions come when we show our authentic selves, the being behind the masks, to one another.

5. Trust yourself and your instincts - your intuition is your guide.  If something feels off, now is not the time to ignore that.  Pay attention to the flow you are experiencing.

6. Have fun, and remember, its all a passing show - yes, have FUN.  :)


As always, I love to hear your thoughts, your experiences and your point of view!

Thank you.

Much love and aloha,

hp