I am reading "If the Buddha Dated" by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D. It's my second time reading it through. I am enjoying seeing how I've grown from the first time I read it 3 years ago to now. Chapter 21 is titled "Crawling In Love: explore the benefits of staying conscious".
At first glance, the title did not resonate with me, nor did it make much sense. In fact, the first time I read the book, it flew over my head. Yet today, it makes so much more sense to me. The author says something about erring on the side on the turtle.... like go slow. Let my mind be as involved in the process as much as or more than my body and all its chemicals are. Yes, because lust at first sight is DECEIVING.
How many people do you know that RUSHED into a relationship because "they had to be together".... only to find that outside of "the loving" they don't even really like each other? How many of YOU have found yourself in that space? I have too. Its exciting, there's a huge rush, and a bit of fixation on the subject. Along with the excitement is the down times. Dr. Kasl suggests that when we "project the image of The Perfect One onto our new love interest, it implies that we are incomplete the way we are". She also says that "Crawling in love is about staying mindful and aware".
Crawling in love - an idea I am marinating on... building a relationship with another human being based on shared experiences, without all the distractions or being a hurry. We owe it to ourselves to build wisely with each other, right?
As always, leave a comment, share your experience, or let us know what you think. It is always good to hear from you.
much love and aloha,
hp
p.s.
"One of the biggest mistakes many of us make in looking for the right partner is judging that person to hastily. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another may create a strong mental and emotional resonance that will spark sexual resonance. Gradual attraction may actually be more genuine than "lust at first" sight." - Barbara DeAngelis, 'Are You The One For Me'
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