Monday, August 26, 2013

Interrupt Your Relationship Routine

Aloha!  I am just getting back into the swing of things after spending an incredible week in Maui on The Daily Love's Maui Yoga Retreat - return to the heart.  Nearly 20 people, most of us strangers to one another, signed up for a trip to Maui. One week into the unknown...almost. We were set up for great success.  Preparations included fasting from sugars, alcohol, caffeine, dairy and gluten.  Oh yeah..... totally different than the normal routine. I visit my local Starbucks about 4 or 5 days a week.  They know my name and what I'm drinking.  I realized that it is my "Cheers" (where everybody knows your name). Physically I did not miss the caffeine.  I was grateful I had fasted from it before getting to Maui and doing Kundalini yoga twice a day.  I hydrated, rested, synced up with my body, aligned my chakras, cleared my heart and my head space, loved and was loved.  Oh, did I mention that we disconnected from our phones and the Internet for that whole entire week? Yeah, me the social media maven unplugged. It felt AMAZING....not to say it wasn't difficult, because it was, yet being with these beautiful souls (including my own) far outweighed the time I missed connecting to the outside world. I needed the time to invest in and care for me.  I learned that to be balanced and healthy, I need to interrupt my routine and invest in me. Not merely vacation, no.  Learning something new, stretching my limits, personal development, contributing to the world, disconnecting from the outside for a few days to connect and align with Spirit.

How does this relate to DATING?  Well.....  humans tend to be creatures of habit.  You know the cliches with relationship - "keep it spicy" "tend to the flame" "love deposits".... all of which imply some effort is made to grow, nurture and satisfy the relationship.  We see it all the time with married folks.... work, home......."now that we've been married two years we hardly ever go out anymore".... then she feels less special and less affectionate and he feels rejected.  We see it with married folks with children.....  they put all the kids activities before investing in their relationship and wonder why the person they fell in love with feels more like a roommate than a lover.

Planning is a great tool to support us in every aspect of our lives.  Yes, even in our relationship.  Plan those interruptions.  Please provide for your families. Please invest in your children. Please finish your degree.  Do those things.  And, interrupt them for the benefit of your relationship.  Relationships are gifts.

  • Plan a weekend getaway - no work, no phones, no Internet.  Be with each other.  
  • Plan time for personal growth where you go together - (Date with Destiny, PSI Seminars, PAX Programs couple workshops, etc)
  • Plan a celebration in the middle of an odd month, just because your love is worth it.  
  • Both of you chose something that scares you (think skydiving).  Support each other in realizing the dream.
  • Plan for time to encourage one another (notes, homemade lunches, sexy text messages, etc.)

How can you interrupt your "relationship routine"?

As always, I love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Much love and aloha

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Dating via FACEBOOK - first date tips

You can snarl if you want to, however, love finds its way to a person's heart through any means necessary....yes, even through Facebook.  It is not so strange.... consider "pen-pals"!  Much like the various dating sites on-line, facebook, allows people to connect in a familiar way. We are not here to discuss whether its right or wrong, because what's right for you may be wrong for someone else.  #KnowYourself

Here are a few tips for those of you who may choose to go on a date with someone you meet on FB:

1.  Meet in a public place, preferably during the day time.  And let at least one other reliable person know where you will be.

2.  Set a time frame of no more than two (2) hours.  If it goes well and you both agree to continue sharing time together, then do that.  A time frame lets you be cordial, get to know one another and leave without difficulty.

3.  Trust yourself.....listen to your gut feelings, your intuition... it speaks for our good!  If you feel like something is off, then it probably is. Be true to you.

4. Just BE.  Who we BE, and how we BE says so much more than we ever can.  Be love.  Be kind. Be honest. Be grateful. Be.

5.  Be open.  It may not turn into a spectacular relationship, you may gain a great friend.  However, it very well may be.  When human beings are open to one another and all the possibilities before them, anything is possible.  The possibilities are endless.  Have fun!

If you have gone on a date with someone you met through facebook, let us know how it went; what you learned. As always, I love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Much love & aloha