Sunday, March 31, 2013

3 Steps to Make a Man Love You

I ran across a post on Facebook yesterday that GRABBED my attention. I, of course, clicked the link
( and listened to this intriguing pitch.... it intrigued me because the man speaking is a relationship "expert" whom I've seen on Rachel Ray's talk show and heard about through other mediums in the personal growth field.  He was sharing from his own experience, like owning he was a player and then he described what changed for him.  I feel like I'm on the verge... 2 of the 3 points he made I'm experiencing.... now to get onto number 3.  Check the link, take a listen, let me know what you think (FELLAS, I'd LOVE to hear your feedback).

While you listen, here is what I wrote down while I listened:

1) Step 1 is that you need to make a man know that you don't "need" him.
    - neediness is the opposite of attraction
    - know who you are so there's no anxiety about whether he loves you, because you love you

2) Step 2 is you need to plant a "future seed" in his mind
     - create an overwhelming feeling of calm - (think oasis)

3) Step 3 is you make it his idea to pursue you & commit
     - ultimatums always backfire
     -a man will only commit when he feels it is his choice

He talks rather quickly, without pausing, so this is as good as it got for me.  However, he said more.  I really appreciate the 3 steps in their simplicity... A man's choice matters.  I respect that.  A new point of view may give me another viewpoint.  Best wishes.

As always, please let me know what you think or share your experience.

much love & aloha

Monday, March 25, 2013

There is Wisdom in Silence Ladies

(Thank you to for the photo)

It's a well known fact....girls, young ladies, older women.... LOVE to talk....
We talk so much we forget to order food at restaurants. It's good for us, we vibe higher when we're connecting. Girl time is essential.

Now when you're with a man (masculine energy, not the guy who is like your girlfriend).... its important to keep in mind a few things:

1) Men are single focused.......which means he does one task at a time.  Answering your question is a task. Instead of sending him a barrage of questions one after the other, ask one question and then WAIT.... give him some time to answer.  The deeper the question, the deeper he has to go.... and with the proper space he will go deep, provided he feels safe to.

2) Men like to be heard.....  it is true.... since I have learned to be quiet when men are talking, no interrupting, etc.... the feedback I get is.... wow Heather.... do you want to say anything, I feel like I've been talking forever.  Sometimes I don't want to talk, and they will continue.... it's awesome!  I learn so much about the men in my life....

3) Listen with a sincere interest, especially if he's sharing a story about something he's done.  Yes.... ooh and awe..... this is an important man in your life (your Dad, your boyfriend, your brother, your son, your HUSBAND).....

If you haven't practiced any of these suggestions before, give it a shot and then let me know how it goes, what you experience etc.

As always, let me know what you think...  I love feedback.  :)

Much love & aloha ~ hp

Monday, March 11, 2013

Independent Woman (Part 2) for the FELLAS

Independent: (according to Webster's Dictionary) c (1) not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood).... 

It seems like she doesn't need you, she's got it all together - so where do you fit in?

How do you love the Independent Woman? I have little to say, because my fellow poet Elliot Axiom says it all in his piece, 'Instructions for Making Love to the Independent Woman" .

Please note this applies to women and men in relationships (married, partners, etc).  It is one of my favorite pieces for 2 reasons, the content/imagery is amazing & satisfying and the spirit of it is giving.  I believe Givers Gain....which is more about the spirit than it is about the action.  Take a listen. Leave a comment. Let me know what you think.  

Much love & aloha 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Independent Woman

Independent: (according to Webster's Dictionary) c (1) not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood)....

Women's Suffrage, Women's Rights, Women's Liberation Movement....  I respect the plight and the fight.... I am grateful. I vote when I'm called to. I speak my mind, I stand for what I believe in. I appreciate why that's important.

I enjoy being independent, yet the attitude (generally) associated with that state of being for a woman, especially a woman in America, is, hardly feminine and hardly attractive.  In fact, it's offensive, even repulsive.  Why?  in our quest to "be equal" we dismissed that we're different, that we NEED each other, and our differences are valuable.  I may be as smart as my male counterpart, however, he is built stronger than I, which I have found rocks.  He wants to fix things, he feels good when he completes a task and did something good for a woman..... I like that.   She wants to nurture, cook a good meal, or make the house lovely, he needs that space.... together we create balance, partnership.... I vote interdependence over dependence.  So yes girl, get your degree, do your thing, be you fully and be with the man that supports you and admires you. Similarly, be with the man whom you can support and accept for who he is (not who you wish he was).  Create Balance.

Here are a few tips on how do be welcoming to our male counterparts, without losing ourselves:

1) Practice RECEIVING.  Start with small things, like receiving compliments with a smile & a thank you or receiving a man holding a door open for you (romantic interest or a stranger). 

2) Practice RELAXING & PAMPERING you.  Yes, breathing. Full, deep breaths; Bubble baths; yoga; some other activity you enjoy that fills your cup (hiking, horseback riding, getting your nails done, and the like)  Shifting from our masculine energy into our feminine energy becomes so much easier when we're light hearted and relaxed.

3) Practice APPRECIATION.  (Healthy) men are providers, givers, and more often than not generous.... pay attention to the things they do, then show appreciation.... even if its merely acknowledging the effort he put into doing something (example: washing your car, opening the door, giving up his seat, etc.)  Let him (romantic interest or a stranger) know you see what he's doing.  Men need love and appreciation too.  

Let me know what you think, leave a comment, a question, or share your experience, especially after you've practiced a few tips.  

Much love & aloha