I really wasn't sure what to write about for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure I feel alone, yet I guess I do. I'm not in a committed relationship at this juncture, yet I'd like to be at some point. I'm still enjoying dating, getting to know people and myself, building great friendships and enjoying adventure. I did wonder, "will i get loved up on Thursday? Will so and so be thinking about me?" Although I am not all that hung up (this year) on the "holiday" or all the implications attached to it, like, oh yeah, I'm single, not married, not a mom, etc....I'm ALONE..... all of which has plagued me and MANY women I know (single and married alike <---- the irony in that one).... Maybe my focus is different because I know who I am. Maybe its different because I actually trust that ALL is well in my life. Maybe its because I understand the differences between men and women better. Maybe its because I celebrate and honor the men in my life. None of which came easily or without effort. (workshops help, they really do). I do have feelings about the holiday, about being loved and giving love and relationships.
Per usual, I was listening to the radio while driving and heard a song. I have heard this song many times before, since I was a teenager. It is a lovely song. To Really Love a Woman
(Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman - Bryan Adams).... I listened to the song like it was the first time I have ever heard it.... it spoke to my heart; I could breathe. "you got to breathe her, really taste her....when you can see your unborn children in her eyes... you know you really love a woman" "when you love a woman, you tell her she's really wanted.... that she's the one." The lyrics are impeccable... I don't know what every woman wants for Valentine's Day. Of course I like chocolate and red wine and candlelight. I don't need that to win my heart. As a matter of fact, what moves my heart is how I feel when I'm with a man... can I breathe? Do I feel safe? Can he relax and be himself in my company? Can we be unguarded together? I guess more than Valentine's Day, sweet gifts, romantic getaways, and the like, what speaks to me is being loved, regularly... like Tamia sings about in one of her latest releases.... Give Me You. I can easily enjoy a fancy dinner or excursion, don't get it twisted, but I don't need that to be loved...... if all we have is a blanket, a bottle of water, the moon light and the stars and being with each other, I'm golden. I would like to have a valentine to call my own, I cannot lie or pretend otherwise. I have wishes y'all, I have wishes. <3
If you feel alone during the holidays, like it reminds you that you're single or has you looking at what you don't have, take some time to go within, because the truth is we are WHOLE and complete within ourselves. A man or woman doesn't change that. Yes...the companionship, partnership, love making is wonderful and beautiful...tis also a gift.... the length of time isn't guaranteed on that gift, whether you're single or married. Ask a widow/er.
If you feel kinda down and depressed at Valentine's.... do something for someone else. Givers always gain..... we are blessed to give....watch someone else's face light up at a little bit of love you share. Buy someone coffee at your local coffee shop and wish them a happy valentine's day. Buy a stranger some chocolate. Buy an elderly person in your community a flower. Love is really and truly all around us, when we are willing to take our eyes of ourselves (yes I have this conversation with myself). Some times it is a time to release and make room for love to come in. If you are seeking it, trust that it is seeking you too.
I am buying myself a pair of valentine's pumps in hot pink. :) I am going to see Pink live in concert with one of my besties and we're staying at a super nice hotel. I baked cookies for the girl I mentor. Im making cards for people closest to me. Love is really everywhere. <3
Happy Valentine's Day.......
Much Love & Aloha
p.s. if you are interested in the workshop on relationships and understanding me.... go to www.understandmen.com <----- Great workshops for women as well as for couples and also for men.